Wednesday, August 1, 2012
[This one had a couple of extra players make cameos since it was in a Facebook wall post/thread.]
Brad: You are standing in a dimly lit cave. To the EAST is Birthday fandango celebration with cake and prizes. To the SOUTH is CUBA. To the NORTH is CLIFF OF SORROW. To the WEST is OCEAN.
Shay: Go northwest
Scott U: Open the mailbox.
Brad Lewis: CLIFF OF SORROW attacks you with his AXE OF SADNESS. You take 37 damage. He enjoys the fact that he struck you, thereby removing his SORROW. CLIFF OF SORROW is vanquised. You have won.
Brad Lewis: However, CLIFF'S AXE OF SADNESS left you near death, vulnerable to pneumonia.
Patrick H: /help
Brad: HELP: This is a TEXT ADVENTURE. You may use TWO WORD STRUCTURE: VERB, NOUN, etc.
Shay: examine Scott
Brad: You regard Scott U. with utter contempt, as he is wearing the wrong kind of plaid shorts.
Shay: examine mailbox
Brad: The mailbox has been wrenched from the ground, and tossed against the brick wall of an ancient KEEP. Its contents strewn across the dusty ground. Many small ANTS have decided to crawl this way and that among the LETTERS and one PACKAGE of CANDIED FRUITS.
Shay: eat candied fruits
Brad: The CANDIED FRUITS were laced with NEUROTOXIN and PNEUMONIA SALT. You have lost 99% of your health.
Shay: stomp ants angrily
Brad: You cannot. You lack the strength. The ants do, however, now notice you and begin their slow, menacing march toward your soon to be corpse.
Shay: examine pneumonia
Brad: You begin a moment of self reflection, as you sense the PNEUMONIA attacking your body. You hardly even notice the ANTS begin to remove your body parts and bring the pieces down to their queen.
Brad: You are carrying ACME ANT REPELLANT SOCKS, A TICKET TO THE FAIRE, MAGIC TIMEHOPPIN PANTS
Brad: Also carrying INCREASING NUMBER OF ANT SIZED BITES
Shay: check health
Brad: Your health is at .00000000021 %
Shay: examine queen
Brad: Queen are a British rock band formed in London in 1971, originally consisting of Freddie Mercury (lead vocals, piano), Brian May (guitar, vocals), John Deacon (bass guitar, guitars), and Roger Taylor (drums, vocals). Queen's earliest works were influenced by progressive rock, but the band gradually ventured into more conventional and radio-friendly works, incorporating more diverse and innovative styles in their music.
Shay: ask freddie mercury for help
Brad: Syntax Error (Also, he is dead.)
Shay: use timehoppin pants to return to pre-pneumonia state
Brad: You activate the TIMEHOPPIN PANTS to return to Idaho in the early Mesozoic era. A fine Pre-pneumonia State.
Shay: stand up
Brad: You stagger to your feet, stepping on a bug, which in the future would have become CLIFF OF SORROW. You defeat him before you defeat him via time paradox. You have unlocked achievement BUGSTEP. You hear a lot of robot music and begin to feel better. Eventually you heal, and become comfortable living out your days in prehistoric Idaho.
Brad: YOU WIN
Brad: POINTS - 28
Brad: ACHIEVEMENTS UNLOCKED - 12
Brad: HAPPY BIRTHDAY FROM BRAD AND SHAY'S TEXTELLENT ADVENTURE
Brad: INSERT COIN
Shay: aww, I finally won one... thanks for the birthday present Brad. :)