Brad: It is.... friday. Did you get your chicken wings?
Brad: They had a trough of them here at work.
Brad: Prolly a thousand wings. To eat.
Marshall: no. I had chipotle with the boss instead
Brad: Bruce Springsteen?
Marshall: that would have been cool
Marshall: Except I'd be buggin him the whole time to sing me some "BORNNNN IN THE USAAAA"
Marshall: and while he was doin that I'd go through his stuff
Brad: You'd think eventually he'd just not be able to anymore.
Marshall: yeah I think that happens to all of us
Brad: Much like the horn in my truck stopped working. It was just... out of honks after 10 years.
Marshall: haha
Marshall: you spent em all
Marshall: I'm savin mine
Brad: They're an investment
Brad: I need to buy more honks.
Marshall: hahah
Brad: Act now while there's still time, 100 honks for you and friends!
Marshall Womack: i hate acting
Brad: Acting?
Brad: Like, in a play?
Brad: or like "I didn't just eat the last pile of spaghetti"
Marshall: yes.
Marshall: no.
Marshall: you've asked me to "act now"
Marshall: and I wont
Brad: Oh
Brad: You're trying to beat me at my own literal game. Touche.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Ambiguity
Shay: http://www.thinkgeek.com/geektoys/cubegoodies/6950/
Shay: of course guys at work have just been doing this using lego pieces
Shay: they have a nice Shy Guy from SMB2, and a little Mario from SMB1
Brad: That's cool
Brad: I have a ton of legos.. I should make some vintage chars.
Shay: make mega man, and quick man
Brad: I think I'll take my time with it
Brad: I don't like getting in a hurry
Shay: hahahahahaha
Shay: of course guys at work have just been doing this using lego pieces
Shay: they have a nice Shy Guy from SMB2, and a little Mario from SMB1
Brad: That's cool
Brad: I have a ton of legos.. I should make some vintage chars.
Shay: make mega man, and quick man
Brad: I think I'll take my time with it
Brad: I don't like getting in a hurry
Shay: hahahahahaha
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
On a warm summer's evening, on a train bound for THE FUTURE
Shay: you know I can't ignore a challenge
Shay: that's why I get totally addicted to games
Brad: I challenge you to lick the sun.
Shay: I'll be right back
Sent at 3:26 PM on Wednesday
Brad: Shay?
Sent at 3:39 PM on Wednesday
Brad: ok, stop trying to lick the sun. it is impossible
Shay: give me a minute or two more
Brad: No, the time has come to lock S foils in attack position.
Shay: if S stands for Sunlicker, I agree.
Brad: Sunlicker.
Brad: Good band name
Shay: yeah
Brad: How bout this: KENNY ROGERS PRESENTS
Brad: THE GAMBLER'S CLAW 2
Brad: INSERT POKER
Shay: I...
Shay: .......how did you know I love Kenny Rogers...
Brad: I read your file.
Shay: if I play this game, will I actually get to...
Shay: 1) do something
Shay: 2) meet Kenny Rogers?
Shay: 3) LICK Kenny Rogers?
Brad: 1)yes, 2)no
Brad: 3)
Brad: MAYBE
Shay: ...
Shay: open fireplace; take poker; insert poker
Brad: You insert poker deep into your chest, YOU HAVE DIED
Shay: !
Brad: THE GAMBLER'S CURSE IS UPON YE
Shay: look gambler
Brad: Somewhere in the distance, the gambler, he broke even.
Brad: Score 12.
Brad: KENNY ROGERS LICKED: 0
Brad: You did earn one credit if you want to play again
Shay: ...what's the high score on number of Kenny Rogers licked?
Brad: MONKETBOY has achieved 1,439 LICKS
Shay: ...
Shay: insert credit
Brad: CREDIT DENIED
Shay: ...
Brad: Ellipsis Accepted as credit.
Shay: what
Brad: You have ONE LIFE TO LIVE
Shay: sweet
Brad: YOU MUST CHOOSE - ALL MY CHILDREN's HOSPITAL, REMINGTON STEELE MAGNOLIAS, MILLENIUM FALCON CREST
Shay: which one of these has kenny
Brad: SYNTAX ERROR: Don't understand KENNY
Shay: which one of these has
Brad: REMINGTON STEELE MAGNOLIAS
Shay: weird parser.
Brad: YOU HAVE UNLOCKED SECRET LEVEL
Shay: look
Brad: You are in VICTORIA'S SECRET LEVEL.
Brad: To the NORTH is FOOD COURT
Brad: To the SOUTH is DAINTY OBJECTS
Brad: To the WEST is SLEEPY HOBO
Brad: To the OTHER WEST is CASH REGISTER
Shay: go north; look kenny rogers' roasters
Brad: You enter the FOOD COURT. The BURGER KING resides on his THRONE. The loyal subjects dance for his pleasures. You inquire as to the whereabouts of KENNY ROASTER. No one knows how to speak your language.
Shay: look throne
Brad: THE BURGER KING resides on it. It is constructed of vinyl LPs and yeti pelts. On the floor is a UNIVERSAL TRANSLATOR.
Shay: i
Brad: You are carrying: KENNY ROGERS, A LOCKED ANTI LICKING FACEMASK, a FLASHLIGHT, PIPE CLEANERS.
Shay: !
Brad: You empty your inventory on the ground.
Brad: Except for your facemask.
Shay: upside-down i?
Brad: SYNTAX ERROR
Shay: look kenny rogers
Brad: KENNY ROGERS has been malnourished and beaten unconscious. He wears a beaver suit, and may have at one time been GAMBLING.
Shay: take translator, ask burger king to feed beloved kenny
Shay: ...also lick kenny
Brad: You take the Translator, and communicate your desires to feed KENNY ROGERS. The Fiefdom of Fast Food furnishes French Fries and Fudge. You are unable to LICK KENNY.
Shay: look mask
Brad: Your mask is on you, it's difficult to look at it, though you feel as if ALL LICKING MANEUVRES HAVE BEEN HAMPRED BY YON METAL MASK. KENNY ROGERS seems to be recovering.
Shay: go south
Brad: You venture SOUTH to VICTORIA'S SECRET LEVEL. A sleeping HOBO lounges at the doorway.
Shay: look hobo
Brad: HE SLEEPS!!!! He seems to have a KEYRING in his pocket amidst the half eaten CINNABONS crammed into every pocket he claims in his pocketdom.
Shay: take keyring, cinnabons
Brad: You begin to remove the KEYRING from HOBO. He awakens and asks you what you are doing.
Shay: explain that I am taking a keyring from him in hopes that it will unlock the facemask that prevents me from achieving my inexplicable lifelong dream of licking kenny rogers
Brad: DON"T UNDERSTAND "THAT"
Brad: GRAMMER FOUL! -14 points
Shay: kill hobo
Brad: You wrench the life from the poor HOBO. His keys and cinnabons fall about the bloodstained corpse.
Shay: loot hobo
Shay: take wrench
Brad: HOBO contains: Entrails, HOBO PELT, LETTER signed K.R., Keys, Cinnabons.
Shay: read letter
Brad: The Letter reads: Dear Brother Fred, I hate to hear you're down on your luck. Hopefully as you wander the plains and malls, you'll find yourself out there. I do know one thing, we Rogers' are always longing for Cinnabons. I know you took a bad turn when you lost your TV show, but I am here to tell you the public loves you. Take care of yourself, and keep these keys. There will be a man come one day, wild haired old scientist, or a boy, asking about this almanac. That day comes, you shoot him.
Brad: Love, Kenny.
Brad: REALIZATION UNLOCKED
Shay: weep over corpse of Mr. Rogers
Brad: YOU HAVE UNLOCKED :GAMERTAG: WINTER OF DISCONTENT - Kill Mr. Rogers
Brad: HONOR -122
Shay: take keys, cinnabons, wrench
Brad: Don't Understand WRENCH
Shay: n
Brad: You approach the FOOD COURT
Brad: THE BURGER KING has fallen asleep, your Inventory remains on the floor. KENNY ROGERS is awakening
Shay: use keys on mask
Brad: You scrape the mask with the keys until it falls apart from extreme scratching.
Brad: MINUS 18 POINTS - DESTRUCTION OF PROPERTY
Shay: ask kenny about licking
Brad: KENNY says you have to KNOW WHEN TO HOLD EM.
Shay: and?
Brad: AND WHEN TO FOLD EM
Brad: When to walk away...
Shay: what about licking?
Brad: AND WHEN TO HAVE SKIN THAT TASTES LIKE DELICIOUS ROTISSERIE CHICKEN
Brad: KENNY ROGERS has gone insane
Shay: lick kenny
Brad: You like kenny.
Shay: ...LICK kenny
Brad: Don't understand ...L
Shay: RAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGEEEEEE
Brad: Rage points +12
Brad: KENNY ROGERS levels a pistol at you. YOU NEVER SHOULD HAVE COME BACK HERE, BOY.
Brad: NOW GO BACK TO THE FUTURE!
Brad: KENNY ROGERS Kills you
Shay: KENNY ROGERS IS NOT IN BACK TO THE FUTURE
Brad: SYNTAX ERROR -
Shay: WHY ARE WE YELLING
Brad: KENNY ROGERSES LICKED - 0
Brad: Score - 9
Brad: Yelling bonus - 19
Brad: Total Score - Green.
Shay: ...All right that was pretty good
Shay: that's why I get totally addicted to games
Brad: I challenge you to lick the sun.
Shay: I'll be right back
Sent at 3:26 PM on Wednesday
Brad: Shay?
Sent at 3:39 PM on Wednesday
Brad: ok, stop trying to lick the sun. it is impossible
Shay: give me a minute or two more
Brad: No, the time has come to lock S foils in attack position.
Shay: if S stands for Sunlicker, I agree.
Brad: Sunlicker.
Brad: Good band name
Shay: yeah
Brad: How bout this: KENNY ROGERS PRESENTS
Brad: THE GAMBLER'S CLAW 2
Brad: INSERT POKER
Shay: I...
Shay: .......how did you know I love Kenny Rogers...
Brad: I read your file.
Shay: if I play this game, will I actually get to...
Shay: 1) do something
Shay: 2) meet Kenny Rogers?
Shay: 3) LICK Kenny Rogers?
Brad: 1)yes, 2)no
Brad: 3)
Brad: MAYBE
Shay: ...
Shay: open fireplace; take poker; insert poker
Brad: You insert poker deep into your chest, YOU HAVE DIED
Shay: !
Brad: THE GAMBLER'S CURSE IS UPON YE
Shay: look gambler
Brad: Somewhere in the distance, the gambler, he broke even.
Brad: Score 12.
Brad: KENNY ROGERS LICKED: 0
Brad: You did earn one credit if you want to play again
Shay: ...what's the high score on number of Kenny Rogers licked?
Brad: MONKETBOY has achieved 1,439 LICKS
Shay: ...
Shay: insert credit
Brad: CREDIT DENIED
Shay: ...
Brad: Ellipsis Accepted as credit.
Shay: what
Brad: You have ONE LIFE TO LIVE
Shay: sweet
Brad: YOU MUST CHOOSE - ALL MY CHILDREN's HOSPITAL, REMINGTON STEELE MAGNOLIAS, MILLENIUM FALCON CREST
Shay: which one of these has kenny
Brad: SYNTAX ERROR: Don't understand KENNY
Shay: which one of these has
Brad: REMINGTON STEELE MAGNOLIAS
Shay: weird parser.
Brad: YOU HAVE UNLOCKED SECRET LEVEL
Shay: look
Brad: You are in VICTORIA'S SECRET LEVEL.
Brad: To the NORTH is FOOD COURT
Brad: To the SOUTH is DAINTY OBJECTS
Brad: To the WEST is SLEEPY HOBO
Brad: To the OTHER WEST is CASH REGISTER
Shay: go north; look kenny rogers' roasters
Brad: You enter the FOOD COURT. The BURGER KING resides on his THRONE. The loyal subjects dance for his pleasures. You inquire as to the whereabouts of KENNY ROASTER. No one knows how to speak your language.
Shay: look throne
Brad: THE BURGER KING resides on it. It is constructed of vinyl LPs and yeti pelts. On the floor is a UNIVERSAL TRANSLATOR.
Shay: i
Brad: You are carrying: KENNY ROGERS, A LOCKED ANTI LICKING FACEMASK, a FLASHLIGHT, PIPE CLEANERS.
Shay: !
Brad: You empty your inventory on the ground.
Brad: Except for your facemask.
Shay: upside-down i?
Brad: SYNTAX ERROR
Shay: look kenny rogers
Brad: KENNY ROGERS has been malnourished and beaten unconscious. He wears a beaver suit, and may have at one time been GAMBLING.
Shay: take translator, ask burger king to feed beloved kenny
Shay: ...also lick kenny
Brad: You take the Translator, and communicate your desires to feed KENNY ROGERS. The Fiefdom of Fast Food furnishes French Fries and Fudge. You are unable to LICK KENNY.
Shay: look mask
Brad: Your mask is on you, it's difficult to look at it, though you feel as if ALL LICKING MANEUVRES HAVE BEEN HAMPRED BY YON METAL MASK. KENNY ROGERS seems to be recovering.
Shay: go south
Brad: You venture SOUTH to VICTORIA'S SECRET LEVEL. A sleeping HOBO lounges at the doorway.
Shay: look hobo
Brad: HE SLEEPS!!!! He seems to have a KEYRING in his pocket amidst the half eaten CINNABONS crammed into every pocket he claims in his pocketdom.
Shay: take keyring, cinnabons
Brad: You begin to remove the KEYRING from HOBO. He awakens and asks you what you are doing.
Shay: explain that I am taking a keyring from him in hopes that it will unlock the facemask that prevents me from achieving my inexplicable lifelong dream of licking kenny rogers
Brad: DON"T UNDERSTAND "THAT"
Brad: GRAMMER FOUL! -14 points
Shay: kill hobo
Brad: You wrench the life from the poor HOBO. His keys and cinnabons fall about the bloodstained corpse.
Shay: loot hobo
Shay: take wrench
Brad: HOBO contains: Entrails, HOBO PELT, LETTER signed K.R., Keys, Cinnabons.
Shay: read letter
Brad: The Letter reads: Dear Brother Fred, I hate to hear you're down on your luck. Hopefully as you wander the plains and malls, you'll find yourself out there. I do know one thing, we Rogers' are always longing for Cinnabons. I know you took a bad turn when you lost your TV show, but I am here to tell you the public loves you. Take care of yourself, and keep these keys. There will be a man come one day, wild haired old scientist, or a boy, asking about this almanac. That day comes, you shoot him.
Brad: Love, Kenny.
Brad: REALIZATION UNLOCKED
Shay: weep over corpse of Mr. Rogers
Brad: YOU HAVE UNLOCKED :GAMERTAG: WINTER OF DISCONTENT - Kill Mr. Rogers
Brad: HONOR -122
Shay: take keys, cinnabons, wrench
Brad: Don't Understand WRENCH
Shay: n
Brad: You approach the FOOD COURT
Brad: THE BURGER KING has fallen asleep, your Inventory remains on the floor. KENNY ROGERS is awakening
Shay: use keys on mask
Brad: You scrape the mask with the keys until it falls apart from extreme scratching.
Brad: MINUS 18 POINTS - DESTRUCTION OF PROPERTY
Shay: ask kenny about licking
Brad: KENNY says you have to KNOW WHEN TO HOLD EM.
Shay: and?
Brad: AND WHEN TO FOLD EM
Brad: When to walk away...
Shay: what about licking?
Brad: AND WHEN TO HAVE SKIN THAT TASTES LIKE DELICIOUS ROTISSERIE CHICKEN
Brad: KENNY ROGERS has gone insane
Shay: lick kenny
Brad: You like kenny.
Shay: ...LICK kenny
Brad: Don't understand ...L
Shay: RAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGEEEEEE
Brad: Rage points +12
Brad: KENNY ROGERS levels a pistol at you. YOU NEVER SHOULD HAVE COME BACK HERE, BOY.
Brad: NOW GO BACK TO THE FUTURE!
Brad: KENNY ROGERS Kills you
Shay: KENNY ROGERS IS NOT IN BACK TO THE FUTURE
Brad: SYNTAX ERROR -
Shay: WHY ARE WE YELLING
Brad: KENNY ROGERSES LICKED - 0
Brad: Score - 9
Brad: Yelling bonus - 19
Brad: Total Score - Green.
Shay: ...All right that was pretty good
Friday, June 25, 2010
The Leavingening, Part 5
Brad: This is the best game I have ever seen
Brad: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y4MqvIHxkQo
Shay: never played it, but heard about it
Brad: You heard about a game called seaman about a snarky anthropomorphised bass?
Shay: yeah, I thought everyone knew about this game
Shay: pretty sure it was a launch title for dreamcast
Brad: More like nightmarecast
Shay: it's so weird
Brad: That thing is creepypalooza
Shay: yeah
Shay: it's like that psychologist game
Brad: Oh, super Freud brothers?
Brad: Where you psychoanalyze yourself as a clone twin while rescuing your mother from a post-hypnotic couch?
Shay: http://www.manifestation.com/neurotoys/eliza.php3
Shay: Eliza
Brad: I see.
Shay: Don't you even say Hello?
Brad: Yes, now you are eaten by chiggers.
Brad: Shay -1200
Brad: Achievements unlocked - Eliza Says Hi
Shay: WE ARE NOT PLAYING A GAME
Brad: Unicorn droppings recovered - 14
Brad: PLEASE INSERT COIN
Shay is now offline
Brad: Dang
This user isn't online!
Brad: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y4MqvIHxkQo
Shay: never played it, but heard about it
Brad: You heard about a game called seaman about a snarky anthropomorphised bass?
Shay: yeah, I thought everyone knew about this game
Shay: pretty sure it was a launch title for dreamcast
Brad: More like nightmarecast
Shay: it's so weird
Brad: That thing is creepypalooza
Shay: yeah
Shay: it's like that psychologist game
Brad: Oh, super Freud brothers?
Brad: Where you psychoanalyze yourself as a clone twin while rescuing your mother from a post-hypnotic couch?
Shay: http://www.manifestation.com/neurotoys/eliza.php3
Shay: Eliza
Brad: I see.
Shay: Don't you even say Hello?
Brad: Yes, now you are eaten by chiggers.
Brad: Shay -1200
Brad: Achievements unlocked - Eliza Says Hi
Shay: WE ARE NOT PLAYING A GAME
Brad: Unicorn droppings recovered - 14
Brad: PLEASE INSERT COIN
Shay is now offline
Brad: Dang
This user isn't online!
The Leavingening, Part 4
Brad: Do you have red dead redemption?
Shay: nope
Shay: I don't have time for games
Brad: Do you have time to play : : DAWSON'S CREEK MASSACRE : :
Brad: ?
Shay: ...okay that actually sounds kinda fun
Shay: BUT I will not be tempted! you're just going to screw with my head and then kill me without letting me do anything!
Brad: No.
Brad: i... wont
Shay: you're lying.
Brad: CURSES
Brad: >>>poof<<<
Shay: nope
Shay: I don't have time for games
Brad: Do you have time to play : : DAWSON'S CREEK MASSACRE : :
Brad: ?
Shay: ...okay that actually sounds kinda fun
Shay: BUT I will not be tempted! you're just going to screw with my head and then kill me without letting me do anything!
Brad: No.
Brad: i... wont
Shay: you're lying.
Brad: CURSES
Brad: >>>poof<<<
Thursday, June 24, 2010
The Leavingening, Part 3
Brad: Would you like to play
::: DUNGEONS AND DUNGEONS :::
:::HERE THERE BE NO DRAGONS::
:: INSERT DRAGONS :::
Shay: I'm good, thanks.
Brad: How bout ::::: SMALL WONDER HOME REPAIR SET ::::
Shay: ...
::: DUNGEONS AND DUNGEONS :::
:::HERE THERE BE NO DRAGONS::
:: INSERT DRAGONS :::
Shay: I'm good, thanks.
Brad: How bout ::::: SMALL WONDER HOME REPAIR SET ::::
Shay: ...
Monday, June 21, 2010
The Leavingening, Part 2
Shay: you feel asleep.
Brad: I do feel asleep
Shay: uh oh, the truck have started to move!
Shay: such a good game
Brad: what game
Shay: Metal Gear
Shay: for the NES
Brad: pff
Brad: never played it
Shay: we played it with my next-door-neighbor many many days
Brad: Did you use your mouth?
Shay: ...no
Brad: Will you play :::: NIGHT GOLF MOUTH EDITION?:::: INSERT TOKEN
Shay: ..........no.
Brad: What about :::GANDALF COOKING CHAMPION::::
Brad: INSERT TOLKIEN
Shay: ...I'm allergic to eating wizard.
Shay: ...Just... stop man
Shay: you're not going to bring it back
Brad: I do feel asleep
Shay: uh oh, the truck have started to move!
Shay: such a good game
Brad: what game
Shay: Metal Gear
Shay: for the NES
Brad: pff
Brad: never played it
Shay: we played it with my next-door-neighbor many many days
Brad: Did you use your mouth?
Shay: ...no
Brad: Will you play :::: NIGHT GOLF MOUTH EDITION?:::: INSERT TOKEN
Shay: ..........no.
Brad: What about :::GANDALF COOKING CHAMPION::::
Brad: INSERT TOLKIEN
Shay: ...I'm allergic to eating wizard.
Shay: ...Just... stop man
Shay: you're not going to bring it back
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