Adventure #22: Contact Your Administrator

Brad: :::::::::::::SELECT CHARACTER NAME::::::::::::::
Shay: Jimmijon
Brad: SELECT FONT: A)Arial B)Comic Sans C) FIXEDSYS
Shay: D) wingdings
Brad: SECRET LEVEL UNLICKED
Brad: You have entered the caverns of the Wingding tribe
Brad: To the NORTH is the King of the Wingdings, Bing. To the SOUTH is HELVETICATROPOLIS, a nation of evil cyborganisms. To the EAST is a WALGREENS. To the WEST is ABANDONED SUBMARINE
Shay: n
Brad: As you approach his highnessness King Bing of the WINGDINGS, you notice his chiseled edges, glistening in the sun. The myriad array of pixels that make up his shape are succulent to your eyeholes. He regards you with wonder. "Wharf Manner of roundish creature are thee, o, pasty one?"
Shay: say "I am what I am, which is to say, a yam named Jimmijon."
Brad: DON'T UNDERSTAND " " "
Brad: The king grows weary of your silence.
Shay: say hello
Brad: As you greet the King, suddenly a fervor erupts to the SOUTH. "O Noes!" Screams the King. "The helveticans are attacking!" Do you A) Help resist the onslaught of sans serrif scumbags, or 2) Turn against your new king and help overthrow the peace loving WINGDINGS?
Shay: A!
Brad: You grab the king's trusty SOLIDTILTEDARROWSWORD named Claire, and vault into battle to the SOUTH. You are met by EDGAR THE MOST SQUARE, of the Helvetician army.
Shay: challenge edgar
Brad: "Your serrif will be truncated, pasty one" he says, as he swings aloft his mighty UMLAUT, an axe of such horror and curly pointy bits that most air particles try to avoid it.
Brad: Do you A) Duck, B)Allow it to penetrate your body, sacrificing yourself for the good of the WINGDINGS, C)Dance a mighty jig, D)Save progress?
Shay: D
Brad: As you are reaching for the save key, EDGAR THE MOST SQUARE delivers a seriffshattering blow to your extruded bits. You have been rendered SQUARISH.
Brad: at your feet lay BITS
Shay: say I am not squarsh, i am yam
Brad: Syntax Error. Don't understand Shay:
Brad: ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED! ROOTKIT VIRUS!
Brad: :::::::::::::DELETING HARDDRIVE
Brad: ::::::::::::::DELETING MONITOR
Brad: ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::DELETING PLAYER 1
Shay: ctrl alt delete
Brad: As the rootkit virus crawls up your "computerin' hands" to erase you from existence, you decide that pouring those nanobots into your computer's disk drive was a bad idea.
Brad: :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::DELETING LIFE
Brad: You have died.
Brad: Score 147
Shay: reload game
Brad: STACK DUMP
Brad: BLUESCREEN
Brad: PLEASE CONTACT YOUR SYSTEM ADMINISTRATOR
Shay: hey Brad
Brad: yeah
Shay: your game gave me a bluescreen
Brad: Hm, really?
Shay: what should I do?
Shay: also I think it killed me
Brad: Oh yeah, it prolly did that.
Brad: Hm
Brad: Oh, did you try to reload it after you were dead, and after it deleted itself?
Shay: uh, well I was dead at the time so my memory isn't really very clear, but that sounds right.
Shay: I also may have hit ctrl alt delete at some point, but it may be after I didn't have hands, so...
Brad: Yeah, you can't do that. At that point it doesn't exist, and you're a ghost. And being a ghost, you can't access games that don't exist
Shay: oh okay. so am I still a ghost then?
Brad: Pretty much, yes
Shay: that would explain why I can't see myself in a mirror, and why I'm so cold.
Brad: see that pile of nanobots eatin what is left of you?
Shay: right right, okay.
Brad: yeah.
Shay: it's all coming together now
Brad: well, no, it's decomposing actually.
Shay: but it said to contact my system administrator and he would fix it
Brad: That would be me, buuut...
[Long pause]
Shay: you're asking for a hauntening here
Shay: don't think I won't do it.
Brad: Ok, lets do this. I'll try reforming your body from nanobots, using,,, a picture of.... Joe Piscopo
Shay: all right, there's one in the wallet of my corpse so this should be pretty quick
Brad: there, now you may reanimate yourself.
Shay: oh, you had the photo, never mind.
Brad: sigh
Shay: all right so I'll just jump into my body now.
Shay: I AM REBORN IN FLESH
Brad: NOOOOOOOO
Shay: IN THIS HOUR I WALK THE EARTH YET AGAIN
Shay: IT'S AWESOME. THANKS BRAD!
Brad: enjoy feelings
Shay: NOW CAN YOU HELP ME TURN OFF CAPS LOCK?
Brad: no, that's on by design
Shay: ALSO I NOTICED THAT WHENEVER I TALK, I SCREAM
Brad: That's a new feature
Brad: to help with the almost deaf
Shay: AND ALSO THERE ARE OTHER SCREAMING VOICES COMING OUT OF MY THROAT THAT ARE NOT MY OWN
Brad: Those are the nanobots. They finally have a way to voice their dissatisfaction about the winter olympics results. They're pretty fanatical about that.
Shay: OH OKAY. AND WHAT ABOUT THE FACT THAT MY HANDS ARE CRIMSON FOUNTAINS OF SUPERNATURAL ENERGY?
Brad: That's to be expected, terrify two village children and call me in the morning.
Shay: ALREADY ON TOP IF IT. THANKS MAN
Brad: Your m......
Shay emits a beam of pure energy from his half-ghostly arms that fills your nasal passages with a burning sensation such as you've never known
Shay: NO MORE "YOUR MOM" JOKES, BRAD. OR YOU GET A HAUNTENING.
Brad: Owie
Shay: all right let's end it there
Shay: ...possibly before.
Brad: possibly before we started