Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Developer Diary #3: Exploration

Brad: thing is, you aren't saying Look Around very often
Brad: so I can't paint a picture of where you are, and entice you into things
Shay: yeah I don't, but that's partly because 90% of the time I look at something, you cause 3 other things to happen
Brad: I mean, an island of dessert? you didn't even look around
Brad: Ah, ok
Shay: heh, yeah, I did want to explore the dessert island a bit more
Shay: I like exploring your weird ideas, it's just hard to when a chigger is jumping out of every broccolibush
Brad: there was a myriad of interesting aspects to DESSERT ISLAND, now reduced to a smoldering crater in the west pacific
Shay: I'll do a better job of exploring your next creation before you destroy it for no reason

Adventure #19: Dessert Island

Shay: I recognize Festivus
Shay: But I don't have a Festivus Pole...
Brad: I gave your mom a festivus pole
Shay: ooooh snap sys 37829032
Brad: Welcome to Shay and Brad's Textellent SPOOKYTOWN Adventure.
Brad: You have been abandoned on a dessert island. There are no eskimos to barter with.
Shay: look eskimo
Brad: There are no Eskimos with which to Barter.
Shay: look esquimaux
Brad: To the East is a lone Esquimaux. He has been frozen solid, a stone visage of his former self, slightly eroded, and marked by pidgeons.
Brad: pigeons
Shay: look pidgeons
Brad: Don't understand pidgeons.
Shay: i
Brad: You wield FLAMING SHOULDERPADS OF VALOR, seven cans of SPAM, an ornate map in a language you do not understand, could be pigeonspeak.
Shay: look pigeon markings
Brad: It appears as though it is a map of the DESSERT ISLAND. The vernacular seems to be a dialect of chickenscratch.
Shay: i meant the pigeon markings on the frozen esquimaux
Brad: Don't understand "the"
Shay: n
Brad: You venture North, precariously close to MERINGUE CLIFF.
Brad: The cool sea breezes tousle your hair as if it was so many cornhusks draping a roundish bowling ball
Shay: sniff cliff
Brad: MERINGUE CLIFF smells of pies and nostalgia, it could be eaten, or shoveled away. There appears a DARK SHAPE underneath
Shay: look dark shape
Brad: It's a dark shape alright, dark and shapey.
Brad: perhaps you should uncover it, and touch it
Shay: eat meringue in direction of dark shape
Brad: You engage mouth parts and attack the MERINGUE CLIFF with the vigor of a dutch stable boy. As you near the DARK SHAPE, you realize it's none other than an ACME HOLE-O-MATIC black circle. These are used to put holes in the sides of walls, the floor, etc. in CARTOONS>
Shay: take hole-o-matic
Brad: you pry up t he HOLE-O-MATIC and carefully roll it up and stow it in your BAG OF HOLDING. Unfortunately the infinite bag of holding reacts poorly with the HOLE O MATIC and produces an unstable FICTIONAL SINGULARITY.
Brad: You are faced with a TEMPORAL PARADOX SUNDAE
Shay: add meringue to sundae
Brad: With great skill, you apply the remaining MERINGUE to the SUNDAE. with a loud POP and fizzle, the miniature black hole is appeased and you are left alone on DESSERT ISLAND NORTH SHORE AND TAXIDERMY STATION with no bag of holding and no HOLE-O-MATIC
Shay: eat sundae
Brad: You consume the SUNDAE. You have gained I SCREAM HEADACHE
Shay: scream
Brad: You scream a scream of a thousand screams. Your voice shredding your vocal cords like a shredder going through vocal cords and old bills. As your wailing voice echoes out through the DESSERT ISLAND, you notice a rustling in the BROCCOLIBUSHES
Shay: look broccolibushes
Brad: The BROCCOLIBUSHES seem out of place on a DESSERT ISLAND, a weathered sign post peeks out from the bush, some faint letters in ENGLISH are written hence.
Shay: look sign
Shay: throw can of spam into broccolibushes
Brad: As you reach for your can of SPAM, the BROCCOLIBUSHES dance and shimmy, and part forcibly as a GIANT CHIGGER leapeth forth in a growling attack.
Shay: throw can of spam into chigger
Brad: Your girly throw lands 3 feet from you, and the GIANT CHIGGER pounces on your beginning a chew session that will probably end your life.
Brad: As you are being chewed, you notice that the SIGN has been toppled over to the other side, and it reads " HA IT WAS A TRAP, no one takes the time to write out AUUUGGHGHHHHHH. Who would do that anyway, also, while you are reading this, you're probably being chewed to death by Frank the GIANT CHIGGER"
Shay: look Frank
Brad: You use your eyes to percieve FRANK THE GIANT CHIGGER as he is chewing your leg off. He is large, chigger shaped and is wearing a mechanic's shirt with "paul" on the name tag.
Shay: pray to chigger gods
Brad: The chigger gods do not exist, but your pious display pleases FRANK. He stops chewing your leg, though it is terminally damaged. You now have -1 leg.
Shay: ask frank his name
Brad: As you ask FRANK his name, a METEORITE hits DESSERT ISLAND. You and your new friend FRANK are reduced to atoms.
Brad: You are dead
Brad: Score 819
Brad: Achievements unlocked 9
Brad: Fancy ponies resqued - 0
Shay: view achievements
Brad: ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED - Hamburger helper
Brad: ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED - Iraddiated Dating
Brad: SECRET - made for a man, but strong enough for you
Shay: check spelling of rescued, pigeons, and eskimo
Brad: Syntaz Eror.