On a warm summer's evening, on a train bound for THE FUTURE

Shay: you know I can't ignore a challenge
Shay: that's why I get totally addicted to games
Brad: I challenge you to lick the sun.
Shay: I'll be right back
Sent at 3:26 PM on Wednesday
Brad: Shay?
Sent at 3:39 PM on Wednesday
Brad: ok, stop trying to lick the sun. it is impossible
Shay: give me a minute or two more
Brad: No, the time has come to lock S foils in attack position.
Shay: if S stands for Sunlicker, I agree.
Brad: Sunlicker.
Brad: Good band name
Shay: yeah
Brad: How bout this: KENNY ROGERS PRESENTS
Brad: THE GAMBLER'S CLAW 2
Brad: INSERT POKER
Shay: I...
Shay: .......how did you know I love Kenny Rogers...
Brad: I read your file.
Shay: if I play this game, will I actually get to...
Shay: 1) do something
Shay: 2) meet Kenny Rogers?
Shay: 3) LICK Kenny Rogers?
Brad: 1)yes, 2)no
Brad: 3)
Brad: MAYBE
Shay: ...
Shay: open fireplace; take poker; insert poker
Brad: You insert poker deep into your chest, YOU HAVE DIED
Shay: !
Brad: THE GAMBLER'S CURSE IS UPON YE
Shay: look gambler
Brad: Somewhere in the distance, the gambler, he broke even.
Brad: Score 12.
Brad: KENNY ROGERS LICKED: 0
Brad: You did earn one credit if you want to play again
Shay: ...what's the high score on number of Kenny Rogers licked?
Brad: MONKETBOY has achieved 1,439 LICKS
Shay: ...
Shay: insert credit
Brad: CREDIT DENIED
Shay: ...
Brad: Ellipsis Accepted as credit.
Shay: what
Brad: You have ONE LIFE TO LIVE
Shay: sweet
Brad: YOU MUST CHOOSE - ALL MY CHILDREN's HOSPITAL, REMINGTON STEELE MAGNOLIAS, MILLENIUM FALCON CREST
Shay: which one of these has kenny
Brad: SYNTAX ERROR: Don't understand KENNY
Shay: which one of these has
Brad: REMINGTON STEELE MAGNOLIAS
Shay: weird parser.
Brad: YOU HAVE UNLOCKED SECRET LEVEL
Shay: look
Brad: You are in VICTORIA'S SECRET LEVEL.
Brad: To the NORTH is FOOD COURT
Brad: To the SOUTH is DAINTY OBJECTS
Brad: To the WEST is SLEEPY HOBO
Brad: To the OTHER WEST is CASH REGISTER
Shay: go north; look kenny rogers' roasters
Brad: You enter the FOOD COURT. The BURGER KING resides on his THRONE. The loyal subjects dance for his pleasures. You inquire as to the whereabouts of KENNY ROASTER. No one knows how to speak your language.
Shay: look throne
Brad: THE BURGER KING resides on it. It is constructed of vinyl LPs and yeti pelts. On the floor is a UNIVERSAL TRANSLATOR.
Shay: i
Brad: You are carrying: KENNY ROGERS, A LOCKED ANTI LICKING FACEMASK, a FLASHLIGHT, PIPE CLEANERS.
Shay: !
Brad: You empty your inventory on the ground.
Brad: Except for your facemask.
Shay: upside-down i?
Brad: SYNTAX ERROR
Shay: look kenny rogers
Brad: KENNY ROGERS has been malnourished and beaten unconscious. He wears a beaver suit, and may have at one time been GAMBLING.
Shay: take translator, ask burger king to feed beloved kenny
Shay: ...also lick kenny
Brad: You take the Translator, and communicate your desires to feed KENNY ROGERS. The Fiefdom of Fast Food furnishes French Fries and Fudge. You are unable to LICK KENNY.
Shay: look mask
Brad: Your mask is on you, it's difficult to look at it, though you feel as if ALL LICKING MANEUVRES HAVE BEEN HAMPRED BY YON METAL MASK. KENNY ROGERS seems to be recovering.
Shay: go south
Brad: You venture SOUTH to VICTORIA'S SECRET LEVEL. A sleeping HOBO lounges at the doorway.
Shay: look hobo
Brad: HE SLEEPS!!!! He seems to have a KEYRING in his pocket amidst the half eaten CINNABONS crammed into every pocket he claims in his pocketdom.
Shay: take keyring, cinnabons
Brad: You begin to remove the KEYRING from HOBO. He awakens and asks you what you are doing.
Shay: explain that I am taking a keyring from him in hopes that it will unlock the facemask that prevents me from achieving my inexplicable lifelong dream of licking kenny rogers
Brad: DON"T UNDERSTAND "THAT"
Brad: GRAMMER FOUL! -14 points
Shay: kill hobo
Brad: You wrench the life from the poor HOBO. His keys and cinnabons fall about the bloodstained corpse.
Shay: loot hobo
Shay: take wrench
Brad: HOBO contains: Entrails, HOBO PELT, LETTER signed K.R., Keys, Cinnabons.
Shay: read letter
Brad: The Letter reads: Dear Brother Fred, I hate to hear you're down on your luck. Hopefully as you wander the plains and malls, you'll find yourself out there. I do know one thing, we Rogers' are always longing for Cinnabons. I know you took a bad turn when you lost your TV show, but I am here to tell you the public loves you. Take care of yourself, and keep these keys. There will be a man come one day, wild haired old scientist, or a boy, asking about this almanac. That day comes, you shoot him.
Brad: Love, Kenny.
Brad: REALIZATION UNLOCKED
Shay: weep over corpse of Mr. Rogers
Brad: YOU HAVE UNLOCKED :GAMERTAG: WINTER OF DISCONTENT - Kill Mr. Rogers
Brad: HONOR -122
Shay: take keys, cinnabons, wrench
Brad: Don't Understand WRENCH
Shay: n
Brad: You approach the FOOD COURT
Brad: THE BURGER KING has fallen asleep, your Inventory remains on the floor. KENNY ROGERS is awakening
Shay: use keys on mask
Brad: You scrape the mask with the keys until it falls apart from extreme scratching.
Brad: MINUS 18 POINTS - DESTRUCTION OF PROPERTY
Shay: ask kenny about licking
Brad: KENNY says you have to KNOW WHEN TO HOLD EM.
Shay: and?
Brad: AND WHEN TO FOLD EM
Brad: When to walk away...
Shay: what about licking?
Brad: AND WHEN TO HAVE SKIN THAT TASTES LIKE DELICIOUS ROTISSERIE CHICKEN
Brad: KENNY ROGERS has gone insane
Shay: lick kenny
Brad: You like kenny.
Shay: ...LICK kenny
Brad: Don't understand ...L
Shay: RAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGEEEEEE
Brad: Rage points +12
Brad: KENNY ROGERS levels a pistol at you. YOU NEVER SHOULD HAVE COME BACK HERE, BOY.
Brad: NOW GO BACK TO THE FUTURE!
Brad: KENNY ROGERS Kills you
Shay: KENNY ROGERS IS NOT IN BACK TO THE FUTURE
Brad: SYNTAX ERROR -
Shay: WHY ARE WE YELLING
Brad: KENNY ROGERSES LICKED - 0
Brad: Score - 9
Brad: Yelling bonus - 19
Brad: Total Score - Green.
Shay: ...All right that was pretty good