Friday, October 2, 2009

Adventure #16: Finger-lickin' good (feat. Marshall)

Marshall: dude
Marshall: I accidentally hit my hot key for array,...
Marshall: and my last array was of 200 instances. oops!
Marshall: all of a sudden I had 200 copies of this mesh all over teh place
Brad: You have discovered: CRASH MAX BUTTON. You have leveled up
Marshall: check button
Brad: It is full of lint, and slightly musty. Perhaps you should wash it sometime.
Marshall: press button
Brad: you feel a pain in your guts.
Marshall: ack
Marshall: check guts
Brad: Your guts have been penetrated by a SPEAR
Marshall: take spear
Brad: You remove the ancient egyptian spear from your guts, the wound healing magically behind it. It is a scale model of CLEOPATRA'S SPEAR.
Marshall: find cleopatra
Brad: You reach for an encyclopedia. You turn to the C section. You are turning the pages when you inflict MASSIVE PAPERCUT -128 DAMAGE on yourself.
Brad: You have 13 health
Marshall: use spear
Brad: You use spear on the papercut, hoping to heal yourself. Unfortuately, there are no instructions on the spear, and you end up severing a finger, and widening the BLOODSPURTING FANDANGO PAPERCUTPALOOZA.
Brad: You have 4 health
Marshall: take finger
Brad: You include your finger in your inventory
Marshall: look around
Brad: You are in a cylindrical room, lined with books. A skylight at the top of the domed roof lets in a tired wisp of sunset. The threadbare rug on the floor seems to conceal a trapdoor at one edge, a single door to the left seems barred shut. A scent of cheese drifts through the room. A MASSIVE POOL OF BLOODY ENCYCLOPEDIA PAGES AND FINGER BITS rest at your feet.
Marshall: lift rug , check out trap door
Brad: You reach down to lift the rug, scattering dust and such into the air, you look at the trap door, longingly, wondering if it would go out with you. Just as you're about to ask for it's number, the trap door drops open underneath you, allowing you free and unrestricted access to the PIT OF DISCOMFORT
Brad: You awaken at the bottom of the pit disoriented and BLEEDING FROM EPIC PAPERCUT and broken elbow
Marshall: scream like a girl
Brad: Your girlish screams echo off the dank mildewy walls.
Marshall: check health
Brad: Your health is 0.03
Marshall: eat severed finger
Brad: You eat your finger, and it displeases your bowels. The slight stomach discomfort reduces your health by 0.04.
Brad: You have died
Marshall: dang
Brad: Score 825
Brad: Secrets revealed 2.5
Marshall: I was hopign the finger would give me energy
Marshall: if not, I was goign to stab myself with spear
Brad: No, it gave you a slight tummy ache, perhaps if you'd cooked it
Marshall: Im no good at this
Brad: Perhaps you should try "Easy Adventures in Comfort Valley"as a warm up
Marshall: true.

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