Brad: Welcome To DANGERTOWN ANIME FIGHTING CHAMPIONSHIP
Shay: this is gonna be so sweet.
Brad: Syntax Error
Brad: You stand before a massive obsidian obelisk. A solitary blinking light blinks at you near a button.
Brad: To the west is FROG VILLAGE
Brad: To the East is RICKY SCHROEDER's BANJO TRIO
Brad: To the North is OBSIDIAN OBELISK
Brad: To the south is CHARACTER CREATION HUT
Brad: You enter the Character Creation hut. The attendant greets you at the massive armored vault door. Inside the hut is CHARACTER SELECT STATION 7, An employee, a desk, and a waiting area.
Shay: say hello to employee
Brad: The employee's name is Janice.
Shay: say hello to Janice
Brad: Hi Stranger. New to these parts? I see you don't have a body. Would you like to create your Avatar?
Shay: use station
Brad: You waddle your amorpous blobby self up to the CREATIONSTATION. You are welcomed by a bootup screen and a friendly hum. "PLEASE SELCET FORM TEH PHOLLOWING GENDRES" A: Dolphin, B: MALE, C: ANGRYHENRY.
Brad: YOU HAVE CHOSEN ANGRY HENRY. You have achieved "Thanks for choosing Angry Henry" Achievement.
Shay: check achievements
Brad: You have 1 of 32 Achievements.
Brad: You have: AngryHenry body; 1 Underwater hobby kit; Elastic SHoes; Misspent Youth.
Brad: NOW CHOOSE POLITICAL ORIENTATION
Brad: A: REDNECK, B: SANDWICH STYLE, C: IMMORTAL
Brad: You are now associated with the Asian mafia political party. NOW CHOOSE ANGER LEVEL: A- Saucy but nice to kittens; B- RoadRageFisticuffs; C-HATREDCOPTER
Brad: You sheepishly choose ROADRAGE FISTICUFFS. You eyes fill blood red as your bloodpressure increases to an audible level. You instantly want to pummel JANICE. Janice backs away into the protective cage behind the DESK. YOU MAY NOW CHOOSE SPECIAL ABILITY: 1- RUMMAGE MASTER. 2- FIREJAW, 3- EXPERT FISHERMAN.
Brad: You lean into the machine as liquid hot magma pours into a mold around your face. You sustain 47 damage and are now FIREJAW CAPABLE. CHARACTER CREATION IS OVEr. please exit the machine.
Shay: check damage
Brad: You have 7 out of 64 health.
Shay: exit machine, scream maniacally
Brad: You exit machine and thus the Creation Hut. You scream through your firejaw part from pain, part from ANGER. It is hard to see through the smoke from your flaming mandible. To the North is a FIDDLE CHALLENGE. to the South is TACO ISLAND. To the east is the back of the CHARACTER HUT. To the West be monsters.
Brad: You approach an enchanted grove. A menacing ROBOT FIDDLE MONSTER sizes you up for the CHALLENGE o DEATH. You may: A- ENTER RING. B- retreat in horror, C: - hey jim, we need a third option here. please get back to work, we need to ship this thing, and the graphics aren't tight enough on level 3. Also, please stop the unending humming. it makes me want to CRIME.
Shay: shriek with fury, A
Brad: As you shriek hard enough to fling flaming teeth toward your adversary, Randy the FIDDLEBOT takes a fighting stance. You enter the ring and a disembodied voice yells "FIGHT" Above you is a health bar, a score counter and a logo. Below you is a pixelated fighting arena. You may choose A, Up Up Down Down Left Right B A Start, or Left left A A Kick.
Brad: You may also choose FLEE
Shay: look logo
Brad: As you stare foolishly up at the logo of "DANGERTOWN ANIME FIGHTING CHAMPIONSHIP" RANDY THE FIDDLEBACK DINOSPIDER pierces your lungs with his A, A, B, B, Squat, Shimmy, Tickle attack. Blood and guts spew everywhere, getting on the ground, your record collection, the camera, etc.
Shay: A, Up Up Down Down Left Right B A Start
Brad: You have summoned DRAGONPANTS. in a framerate crushing display of particles and post FX, you dismember RANDY into 12 parts. You stand in a crater of your own making, as your FIREJAW is extinguished from the blow. Unfortunately, those 12 parts sprout tiny legs and teeth, and approach you. Licking their chops and sharpened bits, they descend upon you.
Brad: They stop just at the rim of your crater, and yield. You have defeated RANDY. They bestow upon you a BUCKET o GRAVY and a burning in your extremeties.
Shay: drink gravy
Brad: You have some trouble using your hands, but you attempt to drink the gravy. It is thick, and viscous. It is pleasing to your mouth parts. On the inside of the bucket is a message.
Shay: read bucket
Brad: "Do not in any case whatsoever trust RANDY or drink his SWEET GRAVY. It is poison most dire." "P.S. don't look now but your insides are MELTING."
Shay: look now
Brad: You accurately percieve that your wrist bound sundial reads 10:04 PM.
Brad: A Delorean bursts forth out of nowhere and rolls to a stop. Doc Emmet L Brown steps out of his Time Machine
Shay: attack doc
Brad: You fling your rubbery exoskeleton full of liquified INSERT ADVENTURER NAME HERE guts at Doc. He pokes you with a stick, and you begin to leak your PRECIOUS FLUIDS out over the parched fighting arena.
Brad: DOC retrieves a STRAW from the Delorean.
Brad: DOC Leans down and begins to drink your FLUIDS
Shay: activate roadrage
Brad: As a voice overhead screams "FINISH HIM," you ANGRILY AND WITH MUCH RAGE are sucked up through the straw.
Brad: "DOC WINS"
Brad: You have been defeated.
Brad: LOOT RECOVERED: 12
Brad: Extra life multiplier: -1
Brad: FANCY DRESS ACHIEVEMENT: Pantaloons a plenty
Brad: Final Score: 7
Shay: At least I got to be extremely angry.
Shay: That's the best part about any Angry Henry game.
Brad: Just wait till "ANGRY HENRY AND THE HOME DEFENSIVE DRIVING COURSE"